think im going a bit crazy. i am in a weird spot with job currently, the spot being fucked over lol. transitioning from a full time employee to a vendor and having to set up and fill out tax forms, forming llc, ect. Is cool, feels like im making a step in the right direction but in that I dont know if I can rely on my employer. a constant has been being paid right or on time, and after having it in writing that my last check as an employee would have been this past week and relying upon receiving that money, to *nobodies* surprise, 0. after being brushed off by my boss until they pay me i will hold their shit hostage me thinks. once vendor transition is done I cant wait to have grounds to stand for myself and be my own employer, make my own schedule, and seek employment as a more freelance type of thing. this ultimately has been stressing me out, a lot. that and money and employment. I need to get some sort of day job besides working from home

i dont like being a homebody and i think my dissatisfaction with daily life is seeping into the way i interact with others. i have no drive or motivation. i feel like im weighing my partner down at times not wanting to do anything. sometimes i feel so lonely but no have nothing in me telling me to reach out, so, I dont. I wallow and let it effect her, which is not right or fair. i see the problem, all i have to do is do.

i digress ive been playing a lot of smt v rerelease and think am digging it... im happy i played the first release because i got a decent amount of time out of it and also seeing the changes made to make it more in line with the other smt games is really cool. about half way through with 35 hours in and just got to last area. do feel a bit burned out so going to take a break.

watched the original ring yesterday. it was ok. i feel like I probably should have toned down my expectations seeing that its kind of patient zero for the haunted tape/media murder trope. It reminded me of one of those shitty lost creepypasta stories. was enjoyable nonetheless, i dug the pacing and world it built. was a solid world though. looking at the directors other flicks this seems to be the peak of the franchise but only time will tell.

im going to add a section to this where Ill jot down thoughts on various medias. im going to make the first one for i saw the tv glow. maybe copy and paste some other letterboxd things ive wrote and get off of that. it should be on the home page when I write this.

last thing i can think to mention of late is a got a new tattoo a few days ago, covered up on I wasnt a fan of. i love hanging out and getting tattoo why cant that be a job